We were sitting in the auditorium of the Baha'i Center in Nashville and Eric Dozier and Friends were singing a song about raising up the Name of the Lord and it was exhilarating to say the least. At the same hour, my brother was in a hospital room after over 3 years of fighting with that scourge of our time, cancer! The "Big C". I wanted to go to him but the Lord had other plans.
I was so enthralled with the song that night that I spoke to Rick in my heart and said, "Do you hear that, Rick? Can you feel it?" Tears dropped from my eyes as I whispered a prayer asking God to raise my brother up. When I got home that night, my sister-in-law called to say that he had gone home. Of course she was devastated, still is but we comforted one another and she told me the time of his death and it was close to the time that I had reached out to him and then to our God. I am grieving.
Grief is such a personal thing. Each one of us has a different way of processing the temporary separation from our loved ones and each loss is diverse also. This I know because each of the many deaths that I have been through has elicited a different kind of mourning. This time with my brother, I had no words. None and I am a communicator but I was unable to assign words to any of my very overwhelming feelings. This lasted about a week. I could talk about his life, his loves but I could not talk about his death. In fact, I told no one but my family and my close friends. Being someone who believes that spirit filled communication is a sacred thing, not being able to do it was confusing for me.
So, I remembered that offering service in the name of the soul who has returned to the Kingdom helps the grief process, I went about finding small ways of serving others in his name. I would dedicate whatever I did to him. Daily prayer for his progress in the next World helped also as well as for his family.
I embraced the tears; I embraced the pain and I walked through it all. If we leave grief unprocessed it will find a way to be expressed and it may not be healthy for us or those around us.
It has been 27 days since he left us and the tears still fill up my eyes but I feel him near to us and I sense that he is very happy and this eases my heart. The love NEVER dies!
Part of the services that we offer at CHAT is grief coaching. We will offer hints about processing and easing the transition as well as things to say when people question your way of grieving. Call us.