This morning after prayer, a profound wave of gratitude washed over me. Gratitude always to God but this morning it is to the body that He created to house my soul, my reality, my being. Four years ago this January, I imperfectly turned my will and life over to Him and the subtleties of my compulsion began to be understood. 55 years of abuse and neglect that resulted in illnesses almost too numerous to count, began to reverse themselves and to heal. I remember almost daily throughout those 55 years feeling the urging or prompting of my true self to arise and to authentically live my life! Yet, my belief was in the food. I believed that it was my comforter, I believed it was my friend, I believed it was my life. Belief is a powerful thing especially when it is so strong as to make one give up everything for it. That is what occurs when faith turns towards material things. I believed that the world hated me. I believed that I was too stupid, ugly, ridiculous, etc! I believed in lack and shortage. But even more toxic was the belief that I deserved more but without effort! All that I did four years ago was start to believe in something more than my limited and suffocating prior beliefs. Slowly, I began to see myself and my problems in a more balanced and humble or right sized way. I made, with God's grace, small yet regular changes and miraculously there followed changes in my very faulty perceptions of myself, my place in the world and the value of living moment by moment. It has not been an easy road but compared to the hell of being enslaved by a package of Oreo's, it has been a breeze. I thought freedom meant that if I was more perfect, then I would get everything that I wanted and would never be sad, mad, alone. Now, I see that those feelings, in moderation, add to the richness of life. It is a privilege to feel my feelings without burying them under sweets, chips, and ice cream. I celebrate my feelings now and walk through them on a daily basis but they no longer control me. They are my servants not vice versa.
As a result of these lessons, my life has turned entirely around and these lessons learned are the fuel in all the training courses that I have taken and the reason I want to create CHAT. Living in a nursing home showed me the abuse and neglect that many of our elders face. That led me to advocacy. It also showed me the harsher ways that people are made to pass from this world to the next. Which led me to End-of-Life Doula training. It taught me to see what I have always known, that everything is energy that flows from our Creator. We are a ray of His love. Hence my interest in Reiki. Healing through that energy. The grief coach training that I will finish this Summer and the life coach as well will be added to the list of services that we here at CHAT will offer to our clients.
I wanted to share a little bit of my story with you. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to add them here. I will gladly respond.